Jibberish
Well I'm still stuck at 182..which isn't SO bad, at least I'm not gaining. I've been disappointed with myself this past week but life goes on and the future is looking bright. I have checked out some books from the library which have a lot of information about strength training, I'm really looking forward to some new routines.
I have decided to post a before picture of myself.
This picture is one year old, I was probably around 175 - 180 in this picture. Please excuse the face paint stuff lol. It was taken before going to halloween dance. I will take a picture at home of now at 182 which would be more recent. Looking at these before pictures gives me lots of motivation to keep moving. Even if I'm not accomplishing what I have set out for the week at least I'm doing SOME of it rather then none of it. A new month will start and I'll have new goals to put up. I'm kind of excited for September. School starts! Usually I wouldn't be so happy, but I havn't been to school in so long and I'm really excited to finally have some structure to my days.
Ready boots?
Walking. Best exercise in the world. So why can't I get over the fact that I have to go OUTSIDE to do this. Yes, I have a treadmill that my daddy bought me, it's sitting in my room, it's my baby BUT I know to be healthIER I need to go outside. Why the fuck am I so scared to go outside? I've been cooped up inside for so long, I need some fresh air in my lungs. My body deserves the best treatment in the world and I'm punishing it by always ALWAYS staying inside. Maybe if I had someone to go outside and walk with me would make things a little easier but I don't and that's that. Didn't I just tell myself a few days ago that I didn't care about anything except myself and my health? My birthday challange is not going well. I need to think of a reward I can give myself at the end of it, nothing food related or pound related. Something really good, any ideas?
Pedometer
My mom bought me a Pedometer, it's really cool I havn't taken it out with me yet but can't wait to! I'm terrfied of weigh in tomorrow, I've checked my weight earlier this week and it is the same up 2 pounds. I'm hoping it's just muscle gain since I've been doing strength training for almost a month now. I don't know how to motivate myself to do cardio, should I make up a challange for myself and reward myself at the end of it? I think that would work, I would just have to think of a reward that I would REALLY really want and it couldn't be anything to do with the scale moving down because I want my mind to be elsewhere.
My dad goes back to work today, this really sucks..I'm not going to see him for a week again. He told me yesterday that he might cancel his trip to India in January because he doesn't know what he's going to do when he gets there, but I think he should go because he has to claim his land and money that grandpa left behind for him before January 24th (i think) or else the bank will end up keeping it, I don't know what kind of process that is but it doesn't really make sense, heck nothing in India ever makes sense lol.
School starts September 7th and I need to buy some new clothes. I'm not going to buy a lot just a couple of things because all of it's going to goto waste since I'm going to lose the weight right? I'll have to smaller clothes later on. One of my first big goals is to lose 15 pounds by my birthday which is in November on the 21st (scorpio) that would be the best birthday present for me. Farrah's birthday is in October and we are planning on celebrating together. We're both turning 19.
EDIT: I've decided to make a little birthday challange for myself. It will be starting tomorrow and ending in November. You can check it out on the right. :)
So what if I listen to Hilary Duff?
Any moment, everything can change,
Feel the wind on your shoulder,
For a minute, all the world can wait,
Let go of your yesterday.
Can you hear it calling?
Can you feel it in your soul?
Can you trust this longing?
And take control,
Fly over up the part of you that wants to hide away
You can shine,
Forget about the reasons why you cant in life,
And start to try, cause it's your time,
Time to fly.
All your worries, leave them somewhere else,
Find a dream you can follow,
Reach for something, when there's nothing left,
And the world's feeling hollow.
I started listening to the lyrics and my eyes started to sting and soon tears were falling. Sometimes music speaks to you like nothing else. The past 2 years of my life have been anything but pleasent, but I'm not complaining I learned more about myself, about the world and people then ever before. I know it's my time to "fly" now, I'm doing so many positive things with my life, and I know I deserve it. Sometimes my past holds me back from so many things and I get frustrated and feel myself getting back into that black hole. I need to learn how to let go. I'm moving on, but so slowly. I'm finally tough, tough enough to fight back and let people know what's on my mind, I cannot be broken by anyones words anymore, this is my life and I choose not to let anyones words/thoughts make me feel any less of myself or get in the way of my happiness. I wont hide anymore like I have in the past year. I map out my future, I make my own decisions, I am my own strength. I have learned to love myself, and I am more important to me then anything else. Life began 18 years ago and finally I have learned that I need to make the most of it now.
And when you're down and feel alone,
And want to run away,
Trust yourself and don't give up,
You know you better than anyone else,
Any moment, everything can change,
Feel the wind on your shoulder,
For a minute, all the world can wait,
Let go of your yesterday.
Fiber
Could someone explain to me about the benifits of fiber+weightloss? I'm kind of confused!
The scale says I'm back to my starting weight this morning, (i know it wasn't weigh in day but i had to check since i thought there would be a loss) I was REALLY REALLY upset. I don't know what's going on with my body. I've been exercising (havn't gotten any cardio in though, could that be it?) and my eating hasn't been so bad either. What the hell is going on? I *hope* it's just water weight or something.
I'm feeling so discouraged right now :(
Comments fixed!
I fixed my comments :)
The problem was with the template so I decided to just use one of Bloggers templates so that I wouldn't have the same problem again.
I was wondering why I wasn't getting any comments! LOL.
Did my lower body workout. It's 12:44 and I havn't had breakfast yet. Should I have it or no? Maybe I'll just have some fruit. I'm seriously going to kick some major butt this week that scale is going to move down dammit!
Going to be taking my measurements today, I had taken them before and they were saved onto the computer but since my computer crashed and I couldn't save anything I have to write them down again.
Disappointment
Weigh in was today and I was very disappointed, I had a gain. I should have expected it since I didn't eat accrodingly this week. I started logging what I eat again today and I promise I am going to lose 1-2 lbs this week! I'm going to set that alarm clock everyday to 6:30AM and am going to walk 2 miles from Tuesday-Sunday. I'm going to start logging in my walking as well, it will keep me on track. Strength training will stay at 3 times a week. I have to say though my butt is starting to look good! I don't see all that cellulite that I had before, there is a some there but not as much as there used to be. My biceps look awesome they are really starting take shape, I'm so proud of that :)
List
Activities done so far this week:
Monday - Lazy
Tuesday - 25min on the treadmill = 234 calories burned
Wednesday - Upper body weights
Thursday - Lower body workout
Friday - 24 minutes on the treadmill = 254 calories burned
Unfortently I didn't keep up with my cardio goal, at least I'll get some down this week it's still pretty good comapred to pervious weeks. My weights goal has been execellent I will finish with one more workout for the rest of the week.
In other news, my dad is coming home tonight! I havn't seen him in 2 weeks :)
I just finished reading Practical Magic by Alice Hoffman last night, great book, very different from what I usually read, I loved it.
:)
After a week of semi healthy eating I'm proud to announce that I still managed to lose 1.5 pounds. I swear, pizza is my total weakness and I wont stop eating it!!! No way. This morning my scale kept dancing around 181-182 it was so frustrating, I really need a new scale so it wasn't as acurate but I just guessed it would be 181.5. I'm really going to work hard this week so maybe I will lose more if I just stay on track and a little more exercise as well.
My goal for this week is definitley try to do more exercise - more cardio that is. So I'm shooting for 5 days of cardio and 3 days of weights. I will reward myself with a special treat...maybe some new panties? Haha. I don't know but something! Anyways I should get going. Nothing else has been going on. I'm trying to comfort a friend at the moment so many bad things have happend to her lately it's just awful. She's really getting depressed, she reminds me of me 1 year ago but I'll be there to help her through this hard time.
Have a great week everyone!!! :)
EDIT: Did 25 minutes on the treadmill today -- I suppose that's a good start :) I hope I can keep it up for the rest of the week.
Bored
This week has been going good so far. I've started my working out routine. No cardio though but I will add that next week. Yesterday I did a lower body workout that consisted of lots of squats and lunges, the burn felt goooood!!! haha :) Today I did an upper body workout with weights. I'm really hoping to see a loss on Monday. Sometimes at the end of the day I feel like I've totally over-eaten but when I go check I'm actually OK on the calories. Still I find it hard to manage my meals some are so big and some are so small. TOM is coming up soon and I am so NOT ready to how my body will react to the food. Eek.
I've been stressing about school lately. I havn't decided what college I officialy want to goto. I'm still not very happy with my English course and am thinking about taking it over again at another school or community college in January. If all this was over and done with last year I would be teaching little pre-schoolers right now. I guess this is the way it was supposed to be. I'm happy that in September 2005 I will finally enroll into the program and in 2006 I will graduate -- that will seriously be one of the most important days of my life.
REALLY tired of being home all the time.
Hooray!
I got up in the morning, brushed my teeth and went straight to the scale since it was weigh in day today and......
A loss of
2 pounds! How awesome is that? I slacked off a a little bit this week but still managed to lose 2 pounds. I'm super happy, see this is the kind of motivation I need!
